Oh, For A Conscience
by Princess of Ithilien
Summary: Darth Vader has a visitor that only he can see: an excessively annoying teenage girl sent from Earth to try and turn him back to the light. Has he completely lost his mind? R&R!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I randomly started typing this one day. **This is NOT a romance. I repeat, this is NOT a romance.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. If I did, I would've gotten a better casting director for Episdoes I-III, and have gotten somebody to write a better screenplay. That's just me, though.

**Oh, For A Conscience**

**Told from Darth Vader's POV**

I may be insane. OK, so I probably am insane.

But this new trouble-it goes beyond insanity, I think.

It all started last week. I was talking with those pesky officers, and one of them was really ticking me off, so I started to force-choke him, which is very normal for me. All of a sudden, I heard this voice in my head...only it wasn't really in my head, it was like somebody was actually speaking to me, a real person.

"Now, now, Vader, that is not very nice."

I stopped force-choking the man, as I was in complete shock. I looked to my right, where the voice had seemed to come from, and there, standing in the doorway, was a girl! I'm not talking a normal girl. She was unusually short, had extremely red hair, and there were these _spots_ all over her face and arms and neck.

She smiled at me, as if she could see the expression of disbelief on my face, through my mask or something.

Then she suddenly vanished, just _poof!_ gone.

I looked back at the officers, and they were all staring at my oddly. I swear one of them was trying not to laugh, as his face was very red.

I just strode from the room. _Leave them to their little trifling matters_, I thought.

As I turned the corner, I heard a voice behind me.

"Ah, a bit miffed, are we?"

It was her, again!

I got a better look at her this time. She was wearing very odd clothing, that I dare not try to describe. Very...unusual.

"Who are you?" I growled.

She grinned and flipped her hair in the most annoying fashion.

"Me? I am simply your conscience. You may call me Allie, though."

I searched my mind for the meaning of the word, but I could come up with nothing.

"Come, now, Darthy. That little voice in your head that tells you what is right and what is wrong?"

I vaguely remembered my mother speaking of something like that, but I figured it had died a long time ago, when I had turned to evil.

"Well, I'm obviously not your original conscience. You _did _kill that one. I am just temporary. You see, your wife, Padme," she began speaking, but I interrupted her by coughing and hacking in disbelief.

She just looked at me oddly and gave me a little half-smile. "Padme "sent" me here, though I'm not quite sure how she did that, to try and turn you back to the light.

"I am really from a place called Earth, and it is lovely down there, I tell you. Actually, I already know who you are, and the whole story of your life, really, because back home we have a movie series called "Star Wars" and it is, essentially, about you."

Well, that did nothing for my self-esteem. So, OK, it was kind of cool to learn that people from a planet far far away from here, in another galaxy, knew who I was, but to have them also know the details of my life? That was a bit of news I could have done without.

"Well, I've watched those movies about ten thousand times, and I know just about everything about you, Anakin."

I had another fit of coughing and hacking away, for she had made me choke on air by using a name that I have not heard in...practically forever!

She grinned that incredibly annoying grin and flipped her hair over her shoulder again.

"Yes, the first thing I decided to do was to start using your real name. Oh, and to tell you that that whole "_hoooo paaaa, hoooo paaaa" _thing you do when you breath is, though pretty cool, very annoying. It also gives away your location."

Here she paused and just stared at me for a second. I took the opportunity to pinch myself to make sure I was not dreaming. And, unfortunately, I wasn't.

"Anyway," she continued. "Since I do have an incredible task before me, I assume I shall be here for some duration. I have made a list, by the way, of all your bad traits, and also all of your good ones. The latter, I assure you, is much much shorter than the former, but we are going to try to change that."

With those words, she disappeared again, and left me standing in the hallway, chanting to myself, "Just a delusion, just a delusion, just a delusion..."

After about ten minutes of that thought running through my head, I had pretty much convinced myself that I had imagined the whole thing.

If only I had known how wrong I was.

A/N: Just a random idea I had. Tell me what you think, please.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Answers to reviewers at the bottom!

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or Darth Vader.

**Chapter 2**

I woke up the next morning, fairly calm, though not in a good mood by any means. I was just leaving my quarters when she appeared, again.

Now, since I had already convinced myself that she wasn't real, when I saw her, I ignored her and started my "Just a delusion" chant again. So I walked past her, my cape billowing behind me(I love my cape. It is wonderful and amazing and it _billows. _How many capes do you know that billow?) only she followed me. I could hear her shoes _tap tap _tapping behind me.

"I am not a delusion, Anakin. Sorry to break it to you." She said, her voice light-as-air and utterly annoying to my ears.

I growled something and looked at her sideways out of my mask. That didn't work very well, since I can barely _see _anything in this mask anyway, so I had to stop and turn to face her.

She smiled a sickening smile and pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket.

"Darth Vader's bad traits. Number one..." She began reading the list, and I groaned. Wasn't she ever going to go away? And was she actually real, or was she really a delusion?

"...very bad temper. Number four, very annoying breathing habits. Number five, extremely sick sense of humor."

Here I interrupted her by choking and hacking. Why does it seem like she always has that affect on me?

She was smiling. Again.

"Yes, Anakin. Getting a kick out of watching somebody trip, fall, split their skull open and _die_ is not exactly proper."

I was choking, again. Who _is_ this person? Whoever she was, real or imagined, I was ready for her to disappear again-_permanently. _And how on earth did she know about Random Storm Trooper #723?

"Number seven," she continued, and I guessed that I had missed number six while I was having my choking fit. "very full of himself. Number eight, extremely controlling, number nine..."

And so the list continued. By the time she reached number twelve, I was sitting down on the floor. By the time she reached number twenty-eight, I had my knees drawn up to my chest. By the time she reached number fifty-six, I was _crying._ Tears, falling down my face. Thank heavens she can't see through my mask. And it was by the time she reached one-hundred-and-seven that I realized she had listed some of the same things twice.

And that ticked me off. I mean, this girl had made me _cry_ with her stupid list, so what do I do? Naturally, I jump up, take out my lightsaber, and kill her.

And what happens? She doesn't die. The blade passes right through her and she comes through without a scratch.

And since my evil plan has failed and she starts torturing me with the list again, I sink to me knees and sob.

Until, of course, a group of storm troopers walk down the hallway and see me. They died immediately.

"Now, Anakin, that is not good. Bad, bad, bad. Which is the opposite of good, in case you didn't know. And here I was, getting my hopes up that you were starting to develop a guilty train of thought after hearing all your worse traits. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to read through it again..." And so this girl, "Allie" as she calls herself, started in on the list again.

And since I obviously couldn't do anything in the state I was in, I went back to my quarters. But there she was. Hounding me with her list. Repeating it. Over and over and over. And over and over and over.

And the whole time she's reading it, I'm trying to get my "Just a delusion" chant going through my brain, only it's not working. Because by now I'm convinced.

She may wear strange clothing and she may be able to survive a lightsaber going right through her, but this girl is very very real. At least in my mind. And all I could think about was some way to get her to leave me _alone._

And I thought I had a plan that would work.

**Answers to Reviewers:  
Cowgirl4Christ: **You are my first reviewer, which means you get a cookie! Anyway, so glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing! And I'm sure this chapter answers your question.

**A random person: **Why, thank you ever so much for reviewing even if you disliked it. It means SO much to me to get all sorts of feedback. And yes, I'm quite sure that I can withstand force lightning. Thank you for your concern!

**JediMan, Jedi Master Arie Skywalker, and darth chunky: **Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm really glad you like it!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or Darth Vader.

**Chapter 3**

I knew that I couldn't put my plan into action for a few more days. And since I hadn't even sorted it out completely, that would've been okay, only I didn't want to survive a few more days with that torturer. Where in the whole wide world did she learn to do that? I swear, she might be better than _me_ at torturing people, and that is saying a _lot._

I was up most of the night, brainstorming. And I barely got any ideas other than my initial one.

I really wasn't that surprised when she popped up beside me. I glanced down at her shoes and growled.

She turned her perky little annoying face to me and grinned.

"Do you like them? They're called high heels."

I looked down at the disgusting neon pink contraptions and snickered.

"Well, they happen to be all the rage back home." Allie continued. I saw her pull something out of her pocket and groaned when she unfolded it. Not another list!

"Anakin Skywalker's Bad Deeds. I made a list. And this is before you turned completely evil, so it is more a list of the things you did to create your downfall.

"Number one, pulled his neighbor's hair when he was two. Number two, stole some credits from his mother and then lied to her about where they might be, then continued to go off and buy some sort of candy with them. Number three, accidentally cut his mother's hair while playing around and blamed it on his droid..."

I wasn't really listening. OK, yes I was. I was hearing every word. They sunk into my brain and stayed there, like someone had branded them there. And then I knew- this girl was evil. I might be considered evil in a classical sense, but _she..._she was much, much worse.

"Feeling guilty yet, Anakin?" She inquired, smiling at me. I almost threw up at the sight of that sickening smile.

I never got the chance to reply, since on the officers came up to me and told me that his superior wanted to talk with me.

"This will be interesting," Allie said, flipping her hair over her shoulder and sticking the paper back in her pocket.

So she followed me to a conference room and sat down right beside me.

Soon the officer came in, and I must admit I'm not really sure which one it was, because I've never been too good with names, and I truly believe myself too good to remember the names of all those morons. I mean, officers.

As soon as he started talking, Allie started rummaging-loudly-in a neon green and orange bag that I hadn't noticed before. She dumped an assortment of items on the table, and I was having trouble listening to the officer because I was distracted by the bag's contents.

There were these bright tubes of something, small paper packages of something else, and a bunch of other things that I would've liked to examine.

She picked up a stick that had a flattened end with little plastic-looking things poking out of it and started running it through her hair. I was staring in rapt fascination.

She then took one of the tubes, extracted some sort of applicator from it, and rubbed it over her lips.

She looked over at me and cocked her head toward the officer.

"Goodness, are you distracted easily. I wonder if I put that on the list of your bad traits..."

She then rummaged in the bag some more, produced aforementioned list, and scribbled that I was distracted easily at the bottom.

I was looking at the officer, and trying to listen-truly I was- only them she pulled something from some shiny paper, put it in her mouth, chewed it, and blew a bubble-like thing with it. Then she started popping it somehow, and eventually I just gave in and looked over at her.

"Gum," she said. I tried to decipher the word, only I couldn't. I don't think I've heard it before. I decided that I'd get her to explain later and turned back to the officer.

After a while Allie stopped making noise, and then started talking.

"Isn't he boring? My gosh, will he never stop?"

Then she went into a dramatic display, clutching her hand to her heart and saying, loudly and very dramaticly, "Oh, the monotony! Make it stop! Make it stop!"

Here she slumped to the floor. After a moment she jumped up and started dancing around the room, singing at the top of her lungs, "At the coba, coba cabana,"

And it was really hard to concentrate on the officer when a girl is dancing around, singing.

Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. I stood quickly, glared at her through my mask, and shouted, "Shut up!"

The officer looked at me strangely, then looked in Allie's direction, then back at me.

"Lord Vader, forgive me. I did not mean to go on for so long, only I wanted to make sure you understood the new treaty, and-" He sputtered nervously, his face growing quite red.

Treaty? What treaty?

After he left the room, Allie came up to me and smiled, again. It seems that girl is always smiling. Will she never stop?

"You forget, Anakin, that you are the only one who can see or hear me."

She packed up her things and flounced-and I mean _flounced-_ out of the room.

I stood in there for a minute or two, shaking my head, wondering who the heck she _was, _how she got here, and why did I have to be the one that she tormented?

**Answers to Reviewer for Chapter 2:(And yes, probably more people will read the last chapter and review, but I'm getting this chapter up today.)**

**Cowgirl4Christ: **I know she would be a Mary Sue if she weren't a conscience, and that's why I made her that way! I mean, I'd never have a serious MS character, but she's really fun to play around with in this story...:)


	4. Chapter 4

**darth chunky: Weird? Well, I suppose it is a bit strange...but I hope you are enjoying it anyway. **

**MaskedInsideandout: Well, I'm not quite so glad that you're cracking like an egg(note heavy sarcasm) but I'm glad you're enjoying the story.**

**shieldmaidenofeorlingas: Thanks! And yes, Ringers Shall Rule The Earth! Uh...sorry. That's just a random thing me and some people made up.**

**padmeamidala1202: Thanks for putting it on your favorites! It makes me so happy when people do that, so you get a cookie! Glad you like it!**

**Jedi X-man Serena Kenobi: Well, she can't technically be classified as a MS, but she can act like one. And believe me, Allie is a very very fun character to work with. She's also scary, but still...**

**Monkey: I know it's original! Whoo! And odd, too. **

**JediMan: Well, thanks for reviewing anyway.**

**Cowgirl4Christ: His plan is still being sorted out by the Author. The Author has a little idea nagging her. The Author is talking in third person and scaring herself.**

**De Code Master: No idea who Eoin Colfer is, but hey, glad you think it's funny!**

**naberrie: I'm not sure if he has 107, it's possible, I suppose. That was just a hyperbole on my part. And I've been mulling over the idea of telling how Allie actually GOT there, but I'm not sure if I'll go with it yet.**

**Chapter 4**

"Anakin! What on earth are you doing?" Allie's shrill voice reached my ears and I jumped away from her purse. I had, actually, been examining the contents, which were, I tell you, quite fascinating. I had never seen the likes of it before. And it had taken me a week to get an opportunity to look through it, and there were so many interesting things! There was a skinny, pink, rectangular object whose surface reminded me of sand, which I don't like, so I threw it away. After she caught me in the act, Allie looked through her bag to make sure nothing was missing.

"Where is my nail file?"

"That scratchy rectangle thing? In the garbage." I answered nonchalantly, figuring it wouldn't be a big deal. I was also scaring myself a great deal because she was rubbing off on me; I was starting to _talk_ like her. I mean, 'that scratchy rectangle thing' had Allie written all over it.

Unfortunately for me and anyone else within hearing range, Allie shrieked in dismay. And when I say shrieked, I mean shrieked. She dropped her bag, put her hands to her face in the most disgusting dramatic manner, and shrieked. And normally a shriek is short-lived, but not Allie's shrieks. She couldn't be conventional and go with the normal shriek, annoying but short lived. No, this girl _howled. _So I guess it wasn't really a shriek, it was more of a shriek-turned-squeal-turned-scream.

Eventually she stopped, but there were tears, running down her face, making black marks on her cheeks. And before I had the chance to ask why her tears were black, she pointed a finger at me in a menacing way.

"You have to go and get it. Now! Before it gets to the chute!"

Now, I am Darth Vader. I am evil. I do not do what little girls in strange clothing tell me to do. Under a normal circumstance, anyway. But when I refused, she pulled out the 'Darth Vader's Bad Traits' list again and started reading. And since I had honestly heard enough of that, I gave in. My gosh, these teenage girls have a _lot_ of power! It's disgusting, really, because they use the same tactics as me. And that's rather degrading, to be honest.

But off I went, down to the garbage area. Okay, it wasn't really me looking through the garbage. It was some witless storm trooper that I had to follow around the make sure he didn't talk to anybody. I mean, if word got out that Darth Vader was asking somebody to look for a small, pink, rectangular-shaped object, it would not be a pretty picture. My power would be sapped. Completely and utterly sapped. Gone with the wind. Oh, crud. That's Allie's saying. I have _got _to get rid of this girl. She's having a really bad influence on me.

Again, another unfortunate thing, the stupid storm trooper couldn't find it.

I returned to Allie like a dog with its tail between its legs. And that is yet another of Allie's sayings.

"Well?" She demanded, hands on hips, a scowl on her face.

"I...couldn't find it." I hung my head in shame. What? I'm Darth Vader, I don't _do that! _But I did.

"What, Anakin? You couldn't find it? Well, that's okay. You're feeling remorse right now, which must be a new experience. Or one that you have not felt for quite some time. That's the moral of the story anyway." She grinned and digged in her bag, pulling out the "nail file". She must have know that my mouth was wide open, because she raised her eyebrows and replied to my unspoken question.

"Yeah, I found it. Apparently it never made it to the trash." She started rubbing the thing against her fingernails. "I just sent you on a wild goose chase. You are very gullible. But, in this case, that is wonderful, because evil people are not gullible."

Okay, so I've just had a prissy young girl undermine my cruelty by telling me that I'm gullible, and therefore I can't really be evil. Now, when you've been an evil person as long as I have been, you get insulted by stuff like that. So, basically, I blew up.

"What do you mean, I'm not evil! Of course I'm evil! Do you want to know how many people I've killed! Many! Many! And you, Miss 'I think I'm all that'," here I paused for a split second. That was another of Allie's sayings! Constantly in the past week and a half that she'd been here she had called me Mr. 'I think I'm all that'. She really was influencing me.

At that moment, for the first time in a long time, I felt fear. Fear that she would actually succeed in her mission. If she had already influenced me to the point where I did what she told me to and I used her sayings, what kind of havoc could she wreak?

I looked at the girl in front of me who was simply smiling up at me. But as I looked at her, I realized that she knew she was influencing me. But I could use her influence against her, for my own purposes.

Behind my mask I smiled, then continued with my rant to keep up appearances.

I was going to win.

Or so I thought.


	5. Chapter 5

**darth chunky: Oh, it was funny I suppose. When you are the author of a story, and you write something funny, you crack up laughing when writing it but since you made it up, after a while, you know it's funny, but you don't really laugh at it anymore...do you get what I'm saying? If not, that's okay...**

**padmeamidala1202: Unique! I love that word!**

**Malinga: Nice song! It is random, so therefore, I like it!**

**Cowgirl4Christ: Oh, he most definitely will do something. YESSSSS...ha. I'm having too much fun tormenting him, I think...though if you want to see me REALLY torment him, go read Diary of a Dark Lord. I'm so mean to him in that story...**

**shieldmaidenofeorlingas: Yes, poor Darth Vader. Being tormented by me through my character Allie, who is REALLY annoying, but, oh so fun to work with.**

**Chapter 5**

The next morning I decided to put my plan into action, as I had finally perfected it-at least, I assumed it was perfect. It was one of those very drastic plans, though not so drastic as killing myself(I had almost begun to consider that one) but drastic nonetheless, and a plan which I thought would be very difficult for me to act out. And I suppose I was right, in a way...

Allie had woken me up by singing some disgusting sappy love song that I think I remember Padme singing to me once. Gag me! Allie does not have a pretty singing voice, either. It is shrill and off-key. But, anyway, after she sang to me, and said that Padme had told her to sing that, she began tormenting me with one of those lists again. I'm not sure which one it was, as I wasn't paying too much attention. In fact, I wasn'tpaying any attention at all,I was just reciting my words-my script, if you will-in my head, trying to get every emphasis and inflection correct.

She had been talking for a long time, and we were walking somewhere, and then I stopped. I sighed-one of those very big sighs, full of regret and guilt-and said, in an excellent tone, "You're right, Allie."

She looked up at me in surprise. "What?" The girl asked, obviously rather confused.

"You're right. I'm a terrible person. I've done so many bad things...and...I don't know if I can change! Will you help me? Please?" I had acted this out so well, though all those words had been very hard to force out of my mouth. It had, however, been better, because it had sounded like I was getting choked up with emotion.

"Well, Anakin," Allie said, patting my arm like an old ladywould, "I'm so glad that you've decided to say that. I don't really believe it, though maybe I am affecting you somewhat. But this," she said, waving the paper in the air. "Is the lunch menu for the next month. I was just reading it to you so that you can approve it." She smiled up at me, and I struggled to stifle a groan.

Not only could she see through my little charade, she hadn't been reading the list of my worst traits! Today, of all days, she chose to read the lunch menu! And I, who had worked so hard to get my little act right, came out with nothing. Zip. Nada. Nil. The big goose egg. NOTHING!

I was furious, obviously, but I tried not to show it. But apparently, Allie can see my face through my mask, because she patted my arm again in a somewhat sympathetic way, and said, "It is always better to tell the truth to your conscience, you know. I can tell when you are lying, in case you didn't know that. Remember, Anakin, I am here to turn you back to the way you were!" The last three words she emphasized by poking my arm with each syllable.

I pulled away from her grip and let my groan slip out. Wasn't there any way to be rid of her? Was I to be cursed by living like this for the rest of my life?

"But, Anakin," Allie said, pulling out a few pieces of paper from her purse, "Since you seem so keen to change so that I'll go away, we'll just read this list." She commenced reading the papers, which were, as I had suspected, the dreaded list of my bad traits. Suddenly, I had a thought.

"Wait a minute. Didn't you say there was a list of my good traits somewhere?" That list, surely, would be much better to hear than this one!

"Oh, do you want to be reminded? Well, then, we'll read that list." The papers in her hand magically turned into another list, a talent of Allie's which I had not yet seen. Apparently a conscience can do those kind of things...

"Anakin Skywalker's Good Traits. Number one, he can build excellent sand castles. Number two, he is somewhat kind to the elderly. Number three, he can be very sensitive..." Here she stopped and looked up at me with a ridiculous expression on her face. "Really, Anakin? Sensitive? I'll have to stick around long enough to see that one...Number four, he can eat really fast...I'm not so sure that is a good trait, Anakin. It's bad for the digestive system."

I groaned again, wondering if she would care at all if I started beating my head against the wall. I decided to try it. My helmet made rather a loud noise, but nothing could drown out her voice, which just seemed to rise higher and higher with each word, with each syllable she uttered, so the noise grew. I was just beginning to wonder how long it would take me to become unconscious when I noticed she had stopped.

I turned to look at her, but she was a blurry figure, and before I could comprehend what she was saying, my mind fell into darkness. My last thought before I fell to the ground, unconscious, was, I'm going to be rid of her for a while at least!


	6. Chapter 6

**shieldmaidenofeorlingas: I AM torturing him...**

**Cowgirl4Christ: Sidious...hmmm...that might be a possibility...I'm not EXACTLY sure of what I'm going to do with my plot...the whole plot is subject to change at present.**

**Chapter 6**

My day in the dark, lonely word of being unconscious was, needless to say, enjoyable and very freeing, even if my mind was unable to grasp how wonderful that time was. However, when I woke up, I found a sight that I'd rather have never seen again.

Allie. Leaning over me, looking "worried", supposedly. Not that she cared anything about how crazy she was driving me. "Oh, Anakin! Finally, you are awake!" She clasped a fist to her chest and patted my cheek. "I am so glad that you are okay!"

She turned to pick up a tray with something resembling food on it. "Are you hungry? I had them send up some food. I knew you would be waking up today." She smiled. I groaned. Of course she would know...Padme could probably look into the future and give her hints about my reaction to things.

The teenage girl popped a bit of fruit into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully, staring at the ceiling. "Tastes like cherries. Would you like one?" She proceeded to hold a bit of fruit near my head.

I shook my head and sat up. Something wasn't right...I looked around the room. At the ground, ceiling, walls, then Allie. Something was definitely different...my helmet! My helmet was gone!

I slapped a hand to my face, hoping to find that it was actually there. My hand touched my skin. I gasped. Now, normally I'm not the gasping kind, but when you find out that you are missing the mask and respirator that you need in order to breath, believe me, you gasp.

"Don't worry, Anakin. Padme is protecting you. You can breath without your mask. We've decided that you are self-conscious about your looks, so we have decided to remedy that. Okay?" She said in a perky sort of voice.

"Self-conscious about my looks?" I growled, shooting a murderous glare in her direction. "I am one of the most evil people in the galaxy. I am also one of the most powerful. Why, I ask you, would I have ANY REASON TO BE SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK?" I had ended in a shout.

Allie was smiling. Again. I swear, that smile is a permanent fixture on her face. "Oooh, guess we hit a nerve there, didn't we, Anakin? That only proves us right, doesn't it now?"

I listened carefully to her speak. Why was she using 'we' and 'us', when she and I were the only ones in the room?

"Because, Anakin, I am working on my Smeagol/Gollum imitation. Apparently there is somebody from Middle-earth who wants me to go work on some poor little creature after I get done with you." She was beaming. "I'm getting paid _double _what Padme is paying me to fix you. Anyway, that is the way the poor thing talks, and I have to have him be able to understand me."

Smeagol? Gollum? Middle-earth? This was too much stuff, jamming itself into my brain! So much information, so many questions...I had just been unconscious for a day! Didn't I deserve a break?

"No, Anakin. No breaks. We need to fix you. I daresay I've done very well with you so far." She began filing her nails. "But today I'm going to go a bit easier on you, simply because you've just had that little accident. So, you are going to have a psychiatric evaluation done by yours truly!" She ended with a triumphant wave of her hand, and a pad of paper and pen appeared in her lap.

She leaned back in her chair and scribbled something at the top.

"Okay, Anakin, I'm going to ask you some questions, and all you have to do is answer them. Alright? Now, I understand that some of these are very personal questions, and that you might get a little emotional, but never fear, I have brought something to solve that little problem."

She whipped out a small rectangular box labeled _Kleenex _from under her chair. I groaned again.

"Here we go. Number 1, why did you decide to turn to the Dark Side?"

_This is not happening...this is not happening..._I began to chant in my mind while giving her some sob story about how when I was a child nobody would ever play with me so I decided to become evil to make them play with me. Allie, of course, didn't write any of that down, as she didn't believe a word.

"No, Anakin. The truth, this time, okay? I have to see how badly being evil for so long has damaged you." Allie scribbled something else on her paper.

"Because I'm easily convinced? Palpatine made a very good argument..." I murmured. There. That was the truth...sort of...

"We'll continue with this later. I have to make a call." Allie swept up her items and left the room. Probably to go talk to Padme and get the truth out of her. Padme probably would have seen my corruption, and the reason for it...

I laid back down on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to rid myself of the memories, trying to figure out how to get rid of Allie once and for all...


	7. Chapter 7

**Cowgirl4Christ: Well...er...I'm not sure. See, I had been thinking about Lord of the Rings, and then I started the chapter, and when I went back through to read it to check for spelling mistakes, I saw that I had been using 'we' and such things when Allie was talking...so I decided to add that in. Though it would be fun to torture Gollum...it might happen.**

**sheildmaidenofeorlingas: Like I told Cowgirl4Christ, I really just randomly added that it. I might do one with Gollum, I'm not sure...Glad you are laughing. Yes, Allie is extremely annoying..sometimes when I'm writing her character, I have this compulsive urge to just strangle her or something...:)**

**JediMan: He might win out in the end, who knows? I'm sure he loves being evil...**

**Legolas0: Yes, poor poor evil Anakin. It's rather fun tormenting him, though.**

**Sharca: Well, I plan on writing it until I feel I've reached the end. That's how all my stories go.**

**Chapter 7**

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, Allie was shaking my shoulder.

"Anakin! Anakin!" She was screeching.

Believe me, I woke up in a hurry.

"WHAT IS IT?" I yelled. I had been having a very peaceful nap, and she had interrupted it, and, needless to say, it annoyed me.

"Oh! I was afraid that you were dead." She leaned back and settled into her own chair, which she had pulled close to the bed.

"But anyway, we must continue with you psychiatric evaluation. Do you ever see things?"

What? Did I ever see things? "Of course I see things! I have eyes, don't I?"

"Anakin, Anakin, Anakin," She said in a tone fit for a child. Or perhaps, the small dogs she had been telling me about. "I meant hallucinations, of course."

I clamped my jaw and said through my teeth, "No, I don't hallucinate."

"Glad to hear it. Do you happen to know what a llama looks like?"

Why was she suddenly changing subjects! All the time! I had never even heard of a llama!

I rubbed my helmet-less head and said, less-than-patiently, "Allie, I've never even heard of a llama. Okay? Now leave me alone!"

I was rather proud of myself, being so controlled and not ripping her head off. I naturally chose to ignore the fact that I had just spoken exactly like her.

"How can you not know what a llama looks like?" She screamed. Great, now she was angry? For what? "Llamas happen to be my favorite animals!" _And this is suddenly a reason for me to know what they look like?_

"Come with me!" She grabbed my arm, and with amazing strength for a girl her size, yanked me up out of bed and out of the room. She was running, which meant I had to jog. And honestly, when you've just injured your head, jogging is not a good idea. Especially when you are sure you are going to stop breathing any minute because somebody took your mask away...

Soon we entered a room, which I was immediately eager to leave. The walls were painted bright, neon pink, and plastered over them were literally hundreds of pictures of what I deduced had to be llamas.

"See? These are llamas! I have a llama back home. Her name is Leia. Aren't they so adorable?"

I wasn't really thinking about the llamas anymore. Or the pink wall. I was thinking about the name Leia. Why on earth did it sound like it _should _be so familiar? I didn't know anyone named Leia...

"Yes, Anakin. But you should." Allie turned to me with a sympathetic look plastered on her face. I was getting so sick of her reading my mind! For once, though, it might help me.

"Who... who is she?" I asked. An inward part of me was disgusted with how weak I sounded just then. Like a little lost boy, trying to find his mother. But another part, a greater part, was too curious to care.

"Your daughter." A hologram suddenly popped up out of nowhere, a picture of a face. The woman resembled Padme slightly, with dark hair and pretty features. _My daughter? When... _Suddenly, memories came flooding back, the ones I had tried so hard to forget. The ones that I had forced into the deepest corner of my mind, trying to rid myself of them. _Padme was pregnant. Obi-Wan... _

I slumped to the floor, staring at the wall but not seeing anything other than faces of old friends. My mentor, my wife, my mother... each face flashed before my mind in perfect clarity.

It wasn't until Allie slid to the floor next to me and handed me a cloth that I realized I was crying. I furiously wiped at my eyes, hating myself for crying, hating the memories for making me cry, hating Allie for making me remember.

"Don't hate, Anakin. Love. Remember who you loved."

With those words a fresh pain started, in my mind, in my heart. '_Remember who you loved'. Who did I love? I loved Padme. I loved my mother. I loved Obi-Wan..._ The list was not long, but I could feel the tug of my heart to each person. I still had strings attatched to them. _My mother is dead...Padme is dead... Obi-Wan is...alive? _At that moment I felt the greatest tug on my heart; the wish to see my old teacher; my old mentor; my old father-figure. The yearning to be embraced by him, as I had been when I was young.

I started to cry again. I sat there for some time, crying, with Allie right beside me, occasionally uttering words of comfort. _Perhaps, _I thought, _Allie is right. Maybe there is some good in me after all._

**A/N: I must say, I simply ADORE this chapter. Not so much the beginning, but the rest of it; oh! I just love it. The beginning was random, I admit, and I would change it, but I really don't have time and I need to get this chapter up.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Replies:**

**shieldmaidenofeorlingas: I'm not a murderer... That part about the hugging was meant to be Vader's yearning for a father figure, okay?**

**Legolas0: No, that was the "touching" part of the story. She will be annoying, worry not!**

**Cowgirl4Christ: Yes, I know it was rather short.**

**Fili: I'm not sure what's going to happen with Obi-Wan...**

**Rabid Rabbit's Rampage: Well, I still haven't decided if I want to do a sequel with Gollum, though it would be really fun... **

**Chapter 8**

The next day I was completely recovered from my strange little crying session. Luckily, I was also back to feeling evil. I was excessively ashamed of myself. I am evil. Evil does not cry. When I had the bad fortune to see Allie, she was absolutely beside herself, rejoicing over what she assumed to be her conquest.

"What a transformation! You look wonderful today, Anakin!" She cried when she saw me. "Feeling better? Feeling good today? The evil all washed out of your system?"

That got me angry. Even if I hadn't been feeling myself yesterday, that was no reason for her to suppose I was no longer evil! I was evil! Of course I was! Being evil and wicked was my life! I had spent half of my life being evil; why quit now? The reasoning crept into my brain, and I welcomed the familiar feeling of darkness.

Naturally, I shouted. A lot. I shouted for a full five minutes. I reprimanded her for assuming she could change me; adamantly insisted that I would always be evil, and things related to that. All the while I was shouting, she was standing there, smiling. And who can actually keep a real smile on their face for five minutes? Nobody I had seen, until Allie.

After a while my shouting became sputtering and my voice lowered quite a bit. Then I was just standing there, staring at her. What on earth was this girl doing to me? I didn't have a clue!

She was still smiling. And just then I had a little twitch start in my eye. Then I had a sudden desire to destroy this person. But then I felt a little something, telling me that wanting to do that was wrong. What in the world was happening to me? Just that morning I had been feeling really really evil! For about twenty years, I had never felt anything but evil and wicked, and I had gotten used to feeling that way. After a year or so, it had started to feel _right. _And now, where was I? Being broken by a teenage girl. _Crying. _I had been _crying, _for heaven's sake!

I was angry. But, moreover, I was frustrated. I didn't know what was happening and I couldn't seem to do anything to stop it. I couldn't rid myself of this menace. And she kept insisting she would convert me someday! That she had already made a dent in it!

I stared at her a bit longer. Allie was flipping through a magazine that had magically appeared in her hands. She read an article, giggled, flipped the page. She stared at pictures of what I guessed to be these people she called celebrities.

Then, suddenly, the magazine was shoved in my face. "Look at her! Look at that dress! Oh, yuck! How can she wear that? It is _so _not her color."

You would think by now that I would be used to her strange Earth-talk, but I wasn't. I lifted my eyebrow-even though there wasn't any hair there, but the eyebrow area- way up in question, then nodded mutely.

"Oh! I forgot! I still have to tell you what llamas are, don't I?" Boy, was she grinning.

"Llamas are related to camels, actually. At least, I think they are. See, I really don't know all that much _about _llamas, beyond that I like them. Well, I do know how to take care of them. I'm getting another llama once I get back home. Then I'll have two. See, I'm going to name it Han, because I want a boy so that I can breed llamas, and then I can keep some of them and sell the others..."

On she went, rambling about llamas while I allowed myself to '_zone' _as she called it. I don't really know what I was thinking, but I sure wasn't thinking about llamas. I think I was simply remembering things.

"Anakin? Anakin! Are you listening to me?" Her shrill voice brought me back to the present.

I looked at her, annoyed. I wanted to strangle her, but I remembered what had happened the last time I tried to kill her.

"WHERE IS MY HELMET?" I shouted suddenly. I hadn't even thought of asking her that; it had just come out. Shouting had never felt so good.

She didn't even look scared or the least bit intimidated, though I was trying my best to glare at her. After years and years of having people cower in your presence, it's hard to accept a kid not being the least bit afraid of you.

"It's somewhere safe." She said with perfect nonchalance.

I was angry. And I tried my best to kill her, I really did, but she became transparent as soon as I tried to jump on her. I tried strangling her with the Force, but it seemed to have no effect.

Just as I was about to start shouting again, I heard someone say my name.

"Ahem... Lord Vader?"

I swiveled violently, but then turned around again. An officer... and me without my helmet!

"Lord Vader?"

"What do you want?" I barked, ducking my head and trying to keep him from seeing me.

"Well, the Emperor would like a word with you."

"Fine." Great! My Master had to bug me now, at this moment! While I was being tormented by a psychotic teenage girl! Wait... maybe he would have a solution! He might be a bit more powerful than me, and she wasn't trying to convert him...

I grinned to myself. Yes... of course! Why hadn't I thought of it before? Allie had disappeared from even my view when the officer appeared, luckily. I didn't see her for the rest of the day. I locked myself away in my quarters and thought in silence.

A/N: I kind of don't like this chapter at all. I've tinkered with it, but this seems to be the best I can make it. I dunno... I feel like it's completely random and doesn't tie in well with the others, but maybe you'll see it differently. Of course, as an author, I don't think I'll ever be completely satisfied with anything I put it... I'll never consider it perfect, I know.


End file.
